Adopt Children | Adopting Older Kids: Independence vs. Attachment

by Children First FFA

Adopt Children

Adopt Children | Adopting Older Kids: Independence vs. Attachment

Q: When adopting older kids, how can parents balance the competing goals of creating attachment at the same time as honoring their teens need for independence?

A: With patience and empathy.  This can be one of the scariest times for an adoptee.  The unspoken fear of total abandonment is ever-present at this stage of adolescence.  Teens have a natural, biological urge to separate and distance, yet there is also the need for continued bonding.  This paradox can feel confusing, disturbing and awkward for the adolescent and creates quite a dilemma for both child and parent.   Which is why parents need to not take their child’s distancing, erratic and/or sometimes rejecting behaviors personally.

Answer provided by Sean Delehant, Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor with CASE

Source: Creating a Family

 

Adopt Children | Our goal is to reunite children with their birth families, which happens about 50% of the time. However, there are many children who cannot return to their birth families, and adoption may become the most desirable goal.

In these cases, it is usually the foster families that are considered for adoption. Adopting through foster care allows families the opportunity to get to know the child prior to making a decision to adopt.

37% of all adoptions nationwide are from foster homes.

“There are no unwanted children, just unfound families.”
The National Adoption Center


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