Blog Post

How to Let Go of a Child After Foster Care

a boy waiting for reunification after foster careIdeally, foster parents provide a stable family home in which the child can grow and thrive. But foster care is meant to be a temporary solution to a complicated problem. All involved parties work together to resolve the family problems and reunite children with their natural parents.

At that time, foster parents must give up the children they have bonded with, fed, clothed, and housed. So how does one get over, what is essentially, the loss of a child?

Think of the child.

The first step to letting go of a child that has left your care is to remember that he or she will benefit from the reunification. First of all, children are constantly growing and learning. The longer a child is in foster care, the more likely they are to struggle with the sudden changes in their routines and general home life.

Secondly, studies have shown that children in long-term foster care are more likely to exhibit behavioral problems and face more risks than those with shorter stays. All-in-all, children need to have access to the bonds, roots, and cultural connections they can only get by living with their biological families.

Think of your children.

Giving a child back to their natural parents will often cause anxiety for foster parents, but many of them still have their own children in the home. Those children deserve to have their parents’ focus and attention. Therefore, a foster parent cannot give into the grief and despair they may be feeling. It would be irresponsible and neglectful to allow yourself to sink into a depression or begin abusing drugs or alcohol.

Not only that, but young children will also feel the loss of someone they had considered a brother or sister and they need your strength and guidance when navigating those feelings. This may even be the perfect time to grow a little closer as a family yourselves.

Think of yourself.

Yes, you have cared for your foster children as if they were your own and you are probably feeling their loss in a very deep and real way. Still, depression and substance abuse are just as bad for you as they are for your children. Allowing that to happen will only serve to negatively affect your mental, physical, social, professional and financial health.

Consequently, you must find the time to care for yourself and maybe even grow a little in the process. With more time you could learn a new skill, return to work or school, or rediscover an old hobby. Most of all, you can take this moment to reconnect with your own family and friends and find comfort in those people that are still present in your life.

Children of all ages are placed into foster care for a number of reasons. Unfortunately, many of these youth have been subjected to parental neglect, exploitation, and all forms of abuse. With whom a child will live while in out-of-home care is based on his or her age, gender, and existing health issues. In the end, however, these children will leave the home and that loss can be difficult for foster parents, but there are several good reasons to let go and move on.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Related Posts

Fence establishing boundary line
Teaching Healthy Boundaries to Foster Children

Foster children often come from environments that did not have healthy boundaries and relationships....

hand giving car keys to foster care teen
5 Easy Steps to Licensing Teen Drivers

There aren't many things scarier than putting our children behind the wheel of vehicles...

Happy multi-ethnic foster family
In for the Long Haul: How Foster Parents Can Prevent Burnout

The reports of foster parent burnouts are frequent. This is understandable, given that fostering...

Foster parents with multi-racial children in foster care
The Foster Parent Shortage in the North State

California has 62,000 children in foster care. According to Dr. John DeGarmo of the...

foster care child waking up in bed
12 Requirements for Housing Foster Care Children

For most, becoming a foster parent is a rewarding experience, but becoming approved to...

IQ plus emotional intelligence equals success formula on blackboard
Foster Care Tips: Helping Children Develop Emotional Intelligence

Few skills are as important as emotional intelligence. It’s been shown to be a...

older foster care youth drives family in van
Aging Out: Successful Transitions from Foster Care are Possible

Each year, 26,000 American youth “age out” of the foster care system. In the...

Mother with kids at the kitchen
Foster Parenting: Teaching Practical Life Skills to Foster Kids

When a foster child comes to your home, you’re not only becoming a caregiver—you’re...

eating healthy food
Foster Care Parents Can Promote Healthy Lifestyles

As the need for two incomes has become more necessary many families are finding...

A mixed race mother and daughter at their home
How To Get Started in Foster Care

Around 425,000 children are in the United States foster care system. Unfortunately, in many...

Little girl introduction her new babysitter
Shasta County Support Services Make Foster Parenting Easier

With more than 62 thousand foster children in the California system, it is important...

Boy lying on floor and reading something on digital tablet
Foster Parenting in the Digital Age

Trying to protect a child in your home, whether they be biological, adopted or...

mother with daughter isolated on white
Foster Care Agencies Provide Options for Caregivers

Raising children is no easy task, but when caring for someone else’s children, it...

Mother and toddler
4 Myths About Foster Parenting

Foster parenting is quite a bit different than parenting biological children. For those who...

Multi-racial Family Portrait Children Only
True Success Stories of Foster Care

Too many times, we hear about negative things that happen in foster care, but...

Two teens sharing music on headphones
Discipline for Older Foster Children

Foster children frequently come from traumatic situations, where they’ve faced abuse, neglect, rejection, or...

Brown-haired child in a field of grass
Preparing Your Home for Foster Parenting

So you want to become a foster parent? Whether you are planning to become...

Sad little boy in black and white
The First Day: How To Help a Foster Child Feel At Home

When a foster child comes to your home, it’s often a frightening and overwhelming...

Boy eating a biscuit from a biscuit bowl
Helping Foster Children Overcome Eating Disorders

Some foster children have experienced the trauma of not having enough to eat. Others...

Bullied teen sitting on cement slab on city street
How to Address Bullying, A Problem That Many Foster Children Face

Bullying is a prevalent problem in American schools. In 2015, almost a quarter of...

Developmental process of boy looking at school book
Developmental Challenges That a Foster Child Might Face

Foster children enter the system when there’s been a traumatic situation in their family,...

Young girl with blonde hair smiling
Helping a Foster Child Heal from Trauma

Whether you’re a foster parent or an adoptive parent, you may encounter a child...

Facts and Myths About Foster Care in Shasta County

There are hundreds of children in foster care in Shasta County. These children have...

Resources That Help After You Foster Adopt in Siskiyou County

If you’ve elected to foster adopt in Siskiyou County, we’re sure it was no...

Things to Know When Becoming Involved With Tehama County Foster Care

It’s no small thing to decide to become a foster parent. It takes a...

Foster parenting shasta county
Preparing for Foster Parenting in Tehama County

Every child needs a healthy, supportive home environment. With foster parenting, you can provide...

Things to Know About Foster Care and Foster Parenting in Shasta County

There are plenty of opinions and preconceived notions, as well as a lot of...

Happy Kids
Circumstances That Often Lead to a Shasta County Foster Care Placement

As a foster parent, you must recognize that you’ll be opening your home to...

Shasta County Foster Care Guide to National Adoption Month

It has been 19 years since November was officially recognized as National Adoption Month,...

Key Facts and Figures of the Foster Care System on a National, California and Shasta County Level

Many people don’t realize how many children are placed into foster care on a...

Foster care shasta county
What You Can Expect During the Shasta County Foster Care Home Study Process

Choosing to open up your home and become a foster parent is one of...

Foster parenting shasta county
Differences Between Foster Parenting and Foster Adoption

Providing a foster child in need with a loving, stable environment is a rewarding...

Parenting Wisdom For Those Looking to Foster Adopt in Shasta County

Most mothers and fathers find that just when they conquer one phase of parenting...

Strategies For Successful Shasta County Foster Parenting

Becoming a foster parent is a rewarding experience for families and individuals who are...

fishing with foster dad shasta county
Bonding After Your Shasta County Foster Adoption

While love is definitely an important factor in any relationship, it’s necessary to recognize...

Foster Parenting in Shasta County Changes Lives For the Better

Foster parenting is a term that almost everyone has heard of, but few realize...

How the Decision to Foster Adopt Can Positively Influence a Shasta County Foster Child

Parenting any child, biological or otherwise, takes patience, love and commitment. However, foster parenting...

Types of Shasta County Foster Care Placements

Numerous children continue to enter the foster care system every day, each with a...

Foster parenting daughters shasta county
Support Foster Adoption in Redding During National Adoption Month

Every child deserves to grow up in a loving, stable home environment that promotes...

Foster care shasta county Cake
Is Sugar Addiction Real?

YES! A new study published in the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition by Harvard’s...

Often Unrecognized Safety Hazards in the Household

Accidents can happen in an instant. While most household hazards are commonly known and...

What You Can Do to Help Children in the Foster Care System

Children of all ages and backgrounds are placed into the Shasta County foster care...

Foster care shasta county Baby
Sleep…It’s Overrated! Or is it?

Sleep is one of the most important (and easy) things that we can do...

Foster care shasta county baking
Muddy Snowballs

Chocolate-lovers will devour this cocoa version of snowballs, the classic holiday cookie. To make...

Toys for Foster parenting shasta county
Managing Holiday Stress

Wrapped up with the enthusiasm of holiday fun, excitement, busyness, activities, and celebration is...

Tips For Foster Care Families During the Holiday Season

The holidays are supposed to be an especially joyful and magical time of year,...

Halloween Safety

Fun Fall Party Mix

Have fun with this recipe. Ingredients can be added or substituted for personal preference. Make it...

Baking Foster care shasta county Events
Candy Cottages

This is an activity for those that the thought of actually making and cutting...

Creative Gift Idea

Foster care Family walking shasta county
4 Reasons Foster Parents Are Always Needed in Shasta County

If you are sensitive to the plight of abused children who have been removed...

Exercise Makes You Smarter

What????!!!  It’s true! Exercise can boost your intelligence with benefits from children through seniors...